yeap..new year already.. been a verie naughty girl last year i culd sae.. i was checkin out my facebook wen it ringed in my head to blog a review abt last yr..so yeah..here it goes..

my year started feelin anxious to start school agn early last yr.. happy with the facts dat my frens are dere fer me all the time.. bein in school is one of the best things dat culd have ever happened to me then.. life was the best then but things started to turn the other way round.. i was bein such a biatch dat i decided and without tinkin twice to actuali start flingin.. with any guy dat comes my wae.. i believe if im nt rong the 1st guy was..er..hakim..he is a nice guy.. really he is.. but due to some things i decided to stop cntcting him.. den came my ex..hazrul..yep.. made a big mistake by bringin him home den.. but notin happened.. dun wori..aftr him was..dis guy..sumones husband.. cant reali rmmbr his name..i was merely his listening ear..dats all.. hmm.. aftr him..was..tarmimi..cute..shortie..sweet lookin..i culd safely sae the best lookin guy ive ever met wif larh..but too bad.. he was the sort hu was soo devoted to his job..yarh..den anoder..dis guy..n i stil dun rmmbr his name.. he has a motor.. it looked like a masked rider..he was such a loser.. dtg nk jumper bwk moto..bey nk g jln2 dier park moto.. bacin btol.. errgh!.. aftr dat was hafiz.. not bad lookin too.. well..black phantom westsider.. gotta noe thru his helmet.. haish.. he is quite nice too.. but sadly gotta noe he has a infection at his winnie..sadly.. so i moved on..hmm..loads of guys huh..i tink aftr dat i din meet oder guys but the last was my current marling larh..all that time i was emotionally attached to dis lucky guy named faris ayis fer short.. nown him fer abt 3 yrs nw.. a super nice guy.. wasnt much of a guy then but he reali is now.. haha.. hunky i culd sae..he was my love then.. we din reali mind abt each others' dating activity coz we sort of noe dat we liked each other no matter wat happens..u noe.. dat sort of tings.. well he has been my backbone fer nearly 2 yrs den but i felt lyke as if his feelings have changed wen he started servin ns.. sadly..i dono.. been questioning myself.. it was veri blurry fer me all that time wen i started to tell myself to move on coz it seems to me dat dere is no more hope in waiting.. i din realise dat he was waiting fer my answer all that while.. am i stoopid or wat?? no clue frm him watsoever..sadly..haish.. nevermind..

wen it comes to werking wise..my delifrance was great but the fact that i have to sneak not wearing tudung den was a pure bad thing fer me to do..furthermore i alwaes went bek home late..aroun 11 if im nt rong.. goin out wif dis particular guy wif his car.. last year was the worst year ever i tell you.. it hurts oukae.. my mlc was bad.. politics everi week.. non stop i tell you..haish.. my delifrance wasnt dat bad but sadly the wage doesnt satisfy me at all.. den came sentosa.. wasnt bad..its just dat i werked lyk a crazy dog.. almost everidae ot.. wow..it was fun werkin dere i cant lie.. the manager dere respected me lyk crazy..haha..wonder why.. maybe coz i acted like one i guess?? haha.. but never wear tudung oso..bad bad girl..haish..a lil politic which lead me to quitting..well.. my life wasnt any better wen most of the time spent was at home aftr dat till now..haish..ouh..i did miss a part wen i getta noe halim..haha..went out wif him too fer a dae.. yarh.. he was such a darling.. a true men i culd sae.. but too bad..he wasnt ment fer me..haish..

u noe wen u tink bek all the bad stuff uve done n really really think every detail of it, it just hurts.. u really regretted doin all that n if u culd just turn bek tym u jus wanna avoid all dose possible but sadly u cant..well..been dere done dat.. just the thought itself culd make me cry.. cant bear getting to noe dat such a girl is living inside of me..i wish i culd juz take her away frm me and throw her far far away and hope that after doin dat ppl wuldnt look at me the wae dey've been lookin at me all this while.. i felt so disgusted..soo rejected.. not being accepted by any of my family members..but all they do is put a mask over that face of theirs coz the fact that i am part of that family..it hurts..it really does...at times i juz want to vanish away..or be invisible.. where nobody wuld recognise me or ever realise i existed.. but still be there to see the happy faces of thiers leading their lives..everyones surely happier not having this girl aroun dem.. no trouble watsoever.. i wonder can a girl like me hu has done soo many shit still be accepted and actually be part of the society?? part of the family?? coz the fact that i dun feel any love but pure rejection from dem is why ive been keepin all this to myself all this while.. i would like to start a new life this year.. i seriously do.. i wanna be a person loved by everyone..but it seems to me that i have to shut that dream of mine tight.. by any chance anyone wanna be the first to loosen and let my dreams come true?? ive had enough of cryin to myself silently..it only eats me up inside..please somebody.. lead me to the right path..im ready..

please forgive me from all the sins ive done.. im just a human being who doesnt run frm making mistakes.. let me be me.. be the girl i wanna be.. live to the dream ive alwaes wanted to.. im sorry everyone...i truly am...